As a Christian, Would You Attend a Gay Wedding?
July 15th, 2008 by David Wallace posted in SinA post with a very interesting question caught my attention today. John Shore asked the question, “What would Jesus do if invited to a gay wedding?” While he didn’t directly answer as to whether Jesus would attend, he did ponder as to whether he himself would attend or not.
It is a very good question — one that we as Christian are probably going to have to face more and more as our world continues to grow darker. Unless you live in a cave, you no doubt have a friend or acquaintance that is gay or even family members. Personally, I have two living family members that are gay (a third is deceased) and even have a few friends and acquaintances that are gay. I have also known quite a few gay people over the years who have become Christians and turned away from their homosexual lifestyles.
So it should be pretty evident that I DO NOT hate gay people. I DO hate the sin but view it as any other sin (e.g., sleeping around when not married, illegal drug use, abusing alcohol, lying, etc.) I also must confess that I am prejudice against those who want to evangelize the world with homosexuality.
That being said, I asked myself this question and after thinking it over for a bit, I’d have to say no. Here are my reasons reason.
I would not go to a gay wedding if invited anymore then I would attend a party where people are using illegal drugs or accompany someone on a shoplifting spree or attend an orgy… well you get the picture. If I believe homosexuality is a sin (and I do), then I feel I would be condoning that sin by taking place in an event that not only approves of the sin but celebrates it as well.
Also keep in mind that a marriage ceremony is different than some of the examples I mentioned above. It is in fact a celebration of two people coming together to legally commit their lives to one another in love. When you attend a wedding, you are doing so to celebrate the event with the couple.
You also endorse the event by your attendance. How so? Remember the part of the ceremony where the minister (or person performing the ceremony) asks the question, “If any person objects to this couple being joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace”? If you do not speak up, guess what - you have put your stamp of approval of the couple’s union.
In John’s original post, he debated whether it is better to attend the event and display God’s love or not attend and in essence hide it. That is a good point and we as Christians should make sure we are with people that do not know Christ so we can have more opportunities to share Him.
However, I feel that if we are going to truly represent the Lord Jesus Christ and His pure gospel, the line has to be drawn somewhere as to what “events of the world” we as Christians attend and partake of. I would have to draw that line where a gay marriage is concerned. And if one or both of the people getting married are my friends or family members, they should respect my religious convictions that compel me not to attend just as much as I respect their decision to be in a gay lifestyle in the first place.
What do you think? Would Jesus attend? If you are a Christian reading this, would you attend?
12 Responses to “As a Christian, Would You Attend a Gay Wedding?”
By Richard Burckhardt on Jul 15, 2008
David -
I am a Christian and I am gay, but I guess I’ll have to take you off the invitation list for my ceremony in October.
By the way, I really don’t care to be compared with a shoplifter or drug offender. I am a tax paying, law abiding, productive citizen, thank you.
By David Wallace on Jul 15, 2008
@Richard Burckhardt - Regarding your statement, “I am a Christian and I am gay,” how would you respond to this post - http://www.jesussite.com/blog/2007/11/23/can-homosexuals-be-christians/?
By Morse on Jul 16, 2008
Another question is “Should gays invite Christians to their weddings?”
I’m not gay, or a Christian. So it would be unfair of me to answer such a question.
By JIm on Jul 20, 2008
I would submit that you don’t have to make that decision yourself. When a situation like this (or any situation) arises, you can simply ask God and He’ll tell you whether to go or not.
By Roger on Jul 20, 2008
This is a simple question with a simple answer but a difficult situation to find oneself in.
In the world’s attempt to ‘re-write’ the teachings of Jesus Christ, the pervasive belief that love condones all things has become a statement that is incessantly spouted from every corner. Instead of looking for answers to difficult situations, most people seek comfortable lives in maniacal pursuit of conflict avoidance with those whom don’t believe as they do. Heaven forbid that someone would say, “You’re wrong,” “I don’t agree,” or some less flattering description of my person.
What people think of me doesn’t make a difference in my life or how I will spend eternity. What will matter is what I do with my life, what I stand for, and how I impact the lives of those in my sphere of influence. The world around me may be going to hell in a hand-basket, but I’m not responsible for its actions. I’m responsible for mine.
So what does the Bible say about these types of situations? How does it instruct us to act when faced with these predicaments that would have us act in ways opposite our beliefs?
The Bible is clear on this question. James 4:17 states, “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”
So…according to my beliefs, which form the backbone of how I live, I cannot attend a homosexual union. It would involve me doing something that I believe is “not good” which in turn causes me to sin.
Now…before everyone throws me to the lions, understand that I separate the person from what I believe to be wrong actions. I have family living in homosexual lifestyles. I love that person. They are a part of my life and the lives of the rest of my family. I do not condemn him. I do not shun him. He is family and I deeply cherish him. But I do not condone or accept his actions and the lifestyle that he has become a part of.
It would be similar to a my son doing something that he knows is wrong. I’ve told him not to behave in a certain fashion and I expect him to live to that standard. But in the event that he does that action, I will not forever see him as “that action”. I am able to separate my son from what he does.
This doesn’t mean I accept what he does. One principle that our society has lost is that every action has a consequence. Every choice has a result. His good choices bring rewards. His bad choices result in correction.
And ultimately, that is what our world is missing. Correction. We believe that correction is wrong. That your opinion is to be valued over what the Bible teaches. That I’m to do everything in my power to make everyone comfortable; while watching them go to Hell. The world has become a shout-fest with the loudest name-caller winning.
Correction is what we need. If my mom had never corrected me growing up, I’d most likely would be dead. Thankfully, she saw bad choices in my life and corrected me. I wouldn’t be where I am in life without correction.
So here is a major course-correction for our world: “Love doesn’t condone everything.” True love corrects. True love faces hard situations with determination and compassion.
Paul wrote in 1st Corinthians13:4 - “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
Roger
By Liz on Jul 27, 2008
Roger, I couldn’t agree with anyone more than I agree with you.
It IS a sin, to condone sin.
My Pastor did a sermon recently about people who are involved in sinful lifestyles, and his point was made clear-we love them, but we do not condone their sin.
Jesus tells us the world will know us by our love for others, if we totally shut out people who walk a different path, how will we tell anyone about Him?
By Gloria on Aug 4, 2008
I am 81 years old and a christian and have lived a long life. I have a question for you. If your son or daughter were gay or a lesbian and were getting married “would you attend their wedding?
By David Wallace on Aug 4, 2008
@Gloria - Regarding your question if I had a son or daughter who was gay and was getting married to another gay person, no I would not attend. I’d still love them but because of my reasons outlined in original post, I would not violated my religious and moral convictions.
By Korinthian on Aug 10, 2008
Gloria: it is hard for someone to answer a hypothetical question with so many strong emotions attached. But I would hope, for David’s hypothetical children’s sake that he would *not* choose the invisible over his own kids.
That is what a “bad christian” (another post) would do; to not show support and not show trust, to not display love when it is needed most.
Jesus hung out with beggars and whores, and David is too religious to hang out with his own children at their wedding.
Love the sinner, hate the sin. Don’t judge, lest ye be judged. I am no biblical scholar, but I do think I know what a loving parent in this situation would do, and what Jesus would do (but then again, he didn’t show that much love for his family in the parts of the bible I read).
By lilybet on Aug 16, 2008
Bottomline gay is a sin! The Bible states so clearly when it said that people of the same sex should not have intercourse. If u are gay and you call yourself a Christian, then you are blind! If God ever wanted anyone to be gay then He probably would have created a like sex for Adam and not opposite like He did.
I would not go to a gay wedding and I don’t think I’ll ever get invited cause everyone around me know where I stand on the issue. Sodomizing is a sin, period! Saying some people were created gay is a lie from the pit of hell. It is better to be safe than sorry.
By Meri on Aug 16, 2008
All this person was saying is that homosexuality is a sin, and he would respond as he would any other sinful behavior. You are justifying your sin by saying you are a tax paying lawful citizen. That is not the point, the point was, hate the sin, but love the sinner…we all sin…..it is no different. But if you knowingly practice homosexuality and it is a sin, then I can’t understand how you are walking with Christ,,???? What example is that to others, it causes them to stumble. The bible specifically states that it is a very sick sin….
Just like many other types of sexually sins that many of us have been guilty of, but i know when I was having premarital sin, it was a sin, and I felt convicted in my heart and stopped the practice…
By Karen on Aug 22, 2008
Thank you David for this very thoughtful article. I have the wedding invitation on my kitchen counter right now, a (gay) cousin of mine who is getting married, in a church no less. I cannot possibly imagine sitting in a church and watching two men get married, it just goes against everything I believe. I too feel that my attendance would say that I condone what they are doing. They are both very nice people and are always included in our family gatherings, but I don’t think they will be surprised by who in my family will not attend this. (and in reverse, they did not attend my son’s court of honor for making Eagle rank in Boy Scouts, even though they were invited)