We have all done it – made excuses as to why we might not attend any particular church service – whether we have actually acted on them or not.

My pastor recently presented a humorous look at what a church might do in order to provide no excuse to miss church. They’d hold a special service called “No Excuse Sunday” which might look something like this.

(Name of Church) Announces “No Excuse Sunday” Event

To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday” which wiull consist of the following:

  • Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.
  • There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.
  • Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.
  • We will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.”
  • Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.
  • Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
  • Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner, too.
  • We will distribute “Stamp Out Stewardship” buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money.
  • One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
  • Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
  • We will provide hearing aids for those who can’t hear the preacher and cotton wool for those who think he’s too loud!
  • The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.


David Wallace

David Wallace is a search & social media marketer who lives in Ahwatukee, Arizona with his lovely wife. Interests & hobbies include Christianity, musicianship, all things Disney, and roller coasters to name a few.

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