Let’s face it – it’s hard to live and act like a Christian all the time. Personally, I’m at my worst when I am driving. I came across these neat test you can take to see how often you react in a “un-Christianly” manner.
Take this quiz to find out how ‘Not Very Christian’ you might really be in certain scenarios.
Note: I have made some slight modifications to some of the original answers in order to better fit what I might do myself.
The Official Test of ‘Not Very Christian’ Christians
1. The obnoxious neighbor kids are riding their bikes in your yard. What might you do?
a.) Pray fervently that they will go away.
b.) Offer them leftover donuts from church.
c.) Start throwing the leftover donuts from church at them while yelling and screaming.
2. You have just moved your groceries from the cart to your trunk. What might you do as your ‘witness’ at the grocery store?
a.) Take your cart to the corral if it’s not too far.
b.) Take your cart and another person’s back to the store.
c.) Casually let the cart roll into the nearest ‘Obama for President’ bumper sticker.
3. You realize you do not have enough cash to leave a good tip. What could be your plan?
a.) Leave the restaurant, find an ATM, pay $2.50 in service fees, leave a good tip.
b.) Go to Chick-Fil-A like a Christian would’ve to begin with instead of that God-forsaken Applebee’s.
c.) Decide that your ‘restaurant witness’ will be to not say grace before dinner so that at least when you’re a cheapskate to the waitress, she’ll also think you’re an atheist.
4. A flock of geese have overrun your neighborhood streets. What should you do?
a.) Praise God with a hymn for the beauty of such graceful creatures.
b.) Leave plenty of bread crusts on the ground for the geese to enjoy.
c.) Get out the pellet gun and enjoy the target practice.
5. You are sitting next to a stranger on a plane. What might you do?
a.) Casually unpack your extra large type illustrated Study Bible with built in reading light.
b.) Join hands across the aisle in prayer for ‘traveling mercies.’
c.) Get out your noise-canceling Bose headphones and watch “Tim Burton’s: The Nightmare Before Christmas.”
6. Your church serves real bread for communion. What might you do?
a.) Tear off a small piece of crust, ensuring there is enough for others.
b.) Bring an extra loaf of bread from home and place it on the tray, just in case.
c.) Stick your whole hand in the bread, grab a huge wad of the soft doughy middle, double dip it in the juice and say out loud, ‘Communion is the most important meal of the day!’
7. A friend asks why you haven’t been to church recently. After an uncomfortable silence, what holy sounding made-up excuse might you hope your friend believes?
a.) “I was…at the homeless shelter…serving soup…to homeless people?”
b.) “I was at church but was sleeping during the message.”
c.) “My boat has been very demanding lately, constantly wanting to go to the lake on Sundays.”
8. Jon has just written an especially sweet Stuff Christians Like post. How might you respond?
a.) By forwarding the post around to your friends.
b.) By making a thoughtful or humorous comment.
c.) By commenting, ‘OMGosh! Jon that totally reminds me of an awesome post I just wrote on my own blog!!!!!!!!!11 Come check me out! ilovejesusthiiismuchblog.blogspot.com. Luv your site, John. LOL!’
9. Your friends are excited about the next U2 concert. What might you say?
a.) “I am so pumped! Their last album was so deep, it made me cry!”
b.) “U2 is so worshipful in their music! It’s going to be awesome.”
c.) “I’m getting backstage passes so I can knock those ridiculous goggles off of Bono’s sanctimonious face.”
And I’ll add in one of my own to make it an even 10.
10. You discover after the fat that the grocery clerk forgot to charge you for that 12 pack of soda that was on the bottom of your shopping cart. What would you do?
a.) Get back in line and let the clerk know of their error so they can charge you for the item.
b.) Leave the item in the store – you didn’t need the soda anyway as you are watching your waistline.
c.) Praise God for “blessing” you with a free 12 pack of soda.
If you answered A’s or B;s, then you are a good Christian, perhaps a little too good to be true. If you answered C on any of them, then you might get a, “That’s not very Christian of you!” from those who might be watching you.
Just to be completely transparent, here is what I answered – 1. – c, 2. – a, 3. – b, 4. – c, 5. – c, 6. – a, 7. – b, 8. – a, 9. – b, 10. – a.
What about you? How did you fare? What additional scenarios can you think of where you have been “less than Christian” in your attitude and responses?
David Wallace is a search & social media marketer who lives in Ahwatukee, Arizona with his lovely wife. Interests & hobbies include Christianity, musicianship, all things Disney, and roller coasters to name a few.